Mindfulness

Time is flying while we are having fun, right? Well it also flies when life isnt that much fun and we have no control over it at all. We cant stop time or life... or even go back in time (even though my bf thinks its possible, bless him ;)). Would I want to go back in time? YES! I regret some decisions that I made and have problems with letting go of the past. Its a waste of thoughts for sure, but its tough to accept that we dont have any control over our past and all we can do is learn from our mistakes and hopefully, not make them again. Its not that I am unhappy about how life turned out so far, but I cant help but wonder what if.....what if I had stayed in Germany, what if I had not gone back to school etc... to control your mind is a skill. Thats why I am glad that I had the chance to join a course called "Mindfullness". I am now in my 2nd week from 8 weeks and I like it a lot. We are a group of 14 people of different age groups, all there for a special reason. During this course we learn to live in the "Now", to discover our thoughts and to accept them. A big part of the course is meditating. We do it in class and also at home, every day. There is always some homework and this week we should meditate once a day, do a breathing exercise once a day and also write down a nice and positive experience per day :) I have to plan quite some time for the meditation and I can tell you, its not easy at all. I need to lay still and focus for about 20 min but my body feels so restless, that I start getting impatient and also my body starts hurting. Its really a matter of lots of pratice and the will of wanting to feel better.
I started this course because I tend to think negative and also my brain is active 24/7. I can not shut it off and it tells me many things that I believe even though thoughts arent facts. Your mind is playing with you and you need to learn to not listen to it and also shut it off for a while. If your mind is always busy, you feel stressed even if you havent done anything physical at all. And that can drive you mad :( I want to be more positive and think less about everyone and everything.
Wish me luck!! There is also a very nice book called: "The Power of Now" from Eckhart Tolle which deals with this topic. I do recommend it to you, you can also borrow it from me if you like :)

The past days have been... well a bit dark for me. I have a cold and it seems to not wanting to go away :( Therefore, I didnt do that much. But my week started nicely, because on Monday, on my way to school and the course, I met a very friendly French man in the train and we ended up chatting for about 1 hour. Usually I read, but I could really sense that he wanted to talk and so I put my book away. He travels a lot as he gives conferences all over the world and he told me about the countries he has been and the people he met. It was really interesting and even though I often have some cultural "issues"with French people, he was an exception and he was very happy when I told him so. He suggested to me to visit the south of France cause thats were the friendly French are -haha.

anddddddd :as I havent travelled for a while, I decided to visit a very good friend in Berlin next month. I am very happy about it as I havent seen her in a while and Berlin is a very nice place to be.

Thats it for today.

Good night. xxx